Vipassana Meditation

Meditation gives us space, distance between our thoughts, feelings, sensations, perceptions and interpretations and our true selves, the observers of these experiences. In Vipassana meditation in particular, we note when we are thinking, feeling, sensing, and cultivate that skill of non-judgmental awareness, just noticing what we are experiencing rather than identifying with, attaching to, or judging our experience of being. This practice helps us in life by allowing us to observe first and intentionally respond or let go of that observation.

Almost all of our internal and interpersonal issues are due to a lack of inner space and awareness to notice trauma-related patterns and the mental models we subconsciously project onto reality, others and ourselves. 80% of the sensory information we register is actually projecting from our brain onto reality, whereas 20% is coming from reality to our brain. This means that our mental constructions about reality are most often what we see and experience rather than reality itself. We've constructed our mental models of reality based on our past experiences. We expect reality to behave similarly to how we witnessed it behaving previously. This is helpful in that we don't have to start from ground zero and learn everytime how to walk or what a stoplight is, but it isn't helpful when we distort reality by projecting a trauma-related or harmful belief onto ourselves, others, or the world around us.

For example, one may have had a difficult relationship in the past, and with their current partner, they are projecting all of the issues of the previous relationship onto the current one, even though their current partner hasn't actually done anything wrong. Or perhaps one was bullied or abused as a child, and now they consistently have low self-esteem and expect that people will not be kind to them, so they avoid others and are unkind to themself. These are examples of bringing past mental constructions of reality into the present, where they don't necessarily belong anymore. We do this in many ways, because it is our conditioning, or subconscious programming to expect what we have become familiar with in life.

Each well-being strategy I've come across so far in the spiritual aspect has something to do with re-arranging and/or becoming aware of our neural networks, that is to say, how our brains have been wired. From microdosing on neural-pathway jumbling psilocybin mushrooms, to traveling and adapting to new life situations, to meditation, empowering meaning-making and self-hypnosis, the key to mental freedom is awareness of and intentional intervention in our subconscious neural patterns. Trauma can emerge from a singular or multiple traumatic events or the more subtle, ongoing, repetitive and seemingly benign trauma of consistently being exposed to a certain harmful way of seeing oneself, others, or the world.

I've spent three months at the Mindfulness Project, a Buddhist teaching center that brings Thai Buddhist knowledge of meditation and mindfulness to Western tourists in Thailand. Each morning we do yoga and meditate, in the evenings receive a teaching on Buddhism, neuroscience and psychology, we practice mindfulness throughout the day, and even visit a Buddhist monastery each weekend to learn more in depth about the Thai Buddhist philosophy and practices. On top of this, I attended their 10 Day Silent Vipassana Meditation Retreat, an intensive experience of living like a monk in a monastery, meditating 12 hours a day in complete silence, practicing mindfulness. This practice has freed me from all of my neurotic tendencies of projecting past mental models into the present, being able to notice whenever I am straying mentally from the moment and creating drama so that I can choose to let go and return to what is.

The name, Buddha, comes from the Pali term, "Buddho" which means "to wake up," the Buddha literally being called "The awakened one." Thai Buddhist monks equate all thoughts that transcend reality as it is as dreams, as sleeping. They have three main goals; in simple terms, these monks seek to 1. Stop doing unwholesome or harmful things, 2. Start doing wholesome and beneficial things, and 3. To purify their minds so they can see reality, themselves and others as clearly and without judgments/projections as possible. They seem to believe that the only true way to see the world and all living beings is with pure loving kindness and compassion, and thus the only awakened way to relate with oneself, others and the world is through love and actions that increase well-being and reduce suffering. They understand that their egos, materialism, and temporary satisfaction will not bring true happiness, so they practice humility, moderation, and service to cultivating shared well-being. Their meditation practices are in service to these goals and motivations.

When we are dreaming/asleep/only seeing projections of pre-made mental models, it is easier to be caught up in our egos, to see oneself vs. others, to want more and more and more, to want to be better than others, more wealthy, attractive, intelligent, powerful. We may want to hide from others, fight them, or underhandedly knock them down a peg. We may be cruel to ourselves or create destructive patterns in our lives, negatively impacting ourselves, others, or the world. These are all dream states, not seeing reality clearly. When we return to reality, we realize we have everything we need and more, we find ourselves grateful for every little thing. When we let go of dreams and projections, we see the beauty and equality in every living being, including ourselves. We recognize wholeness and oneness in diversity, we understand that all that matters is reducing suffering and increasing well-being because all we can feel when we see reality clearly is love and compassion. We don't see fear, worries or insurmountable differences. We feel deeply sad for the hardships of all, deeply happy for joys of all, equanimity to keep our emotional and mental balance in the face of the simultaneous hardships and joys, and the loving kindness and compassion to wish to be of beneficial service to all living beings, including oneself, feeling joyful for others' well-being and joy. This is awakening.

At first, facing the racing thoughts and deep patterns of the mind from years of dreaming can be overwhelming, like bracing in the face of a wild storm. Sitting down for meditation in the beginning can feel quite intimidating. It's not about not thinking or not having negative or strong mental patterns, it's about moving from identification and attachment to the thoughts and patterns to becoming simply a non-judgmental observer of them. It's going from riding the train of thought to watching the trains of thought passing through. With enough practice, you can watch your thoughts and patterns without allowing them to determine what you say and do or how you choose to see things or relate with yourself, others and the world around you. Soon enough, you can distinguish reality from the ideas you have constructed about reality from the past, and you can choose to stay present and calm, happy, grateful or kind even when your thoughts or mental patterns come up to try to whirl you into drama. It's difficult to stay in neutral when positive or negative mindstates are possible, because we get bored. When I felt restless in my meditations, I simply tried to focus on leaning towards positive mindstates of love, humor, fun, forgiveness and/or gratitude to avoid letting boredom teeter me into negativity.

Of course, being mindful does not mean denying that there are negative things in the world and in the past or that could happen in the future, but it means not letting oneself be swayed by those things, just as it means not letting oneself be consumed by dreams about positive things that have happened in the past, are happening now, or could happen in the future. It's about awareness and staying centered. Good things happen, bad things happen, and we can accept reality anyway and stay committed to seeing clearly and acting beneficially regardless. It takes a lot of discipline not to be swept away by positive or negative dream states and to stay in the present moment.

Vipassana meditation starts with concentration (samadhi) meditation to get focused and centered to reduce mental distractions. This is done by cultivating single-pointed awareness on something like the breath or the fire from a candle, coming back to the object of focus every time the mind wanders so the meditator becomes adept at noticing when attention strays and bringing it back. Once the skill of concentration is developed in meditation, Vipassana (wisdom) meditation begins to expand focus by noting everything the observer is experiencing. If one hears a sound, they note "hearing, hearing, hearing" if they feel an emotion, they note "feeling, feeling, feeling" if sitting, they note "sitting, sitting, sitting" and as they go about each and every experience of their day, they note as many details as they can, when wanting chocolate, noting "wanting, wanting, wanting," even when eating, noting "lifting, lifting, lifting, chewing, chewing, chewing, savoring, savoring, savoring, swallowing, swallowing, swallowing," and so forth to keep consistent awareness on reality itself, bringing the mind back to literally whatever is actually happening rather than the dreams the mind comes up with to distract from reality.

Through this practice, the meditator becomes distinctly aware of anything that isn't direct experience of reality, separating dreams from reality itself. Since practicing, I've felt so much clarity and control over how I would like to think and relate to reality, not letting fears, worries, dreams or past experiences determine how I live my life, but rather enjoying the now exactly as it is, not allowing any nonsense to cloud my ability to be present, joyful, and to act beneficially and mindfully. I'm nowhere near as effective at this than the monks, but even with my small amount of practice, I am experiencing an entirely different and improved relationship with my life, myself and others. I couldn't recommend meditation and Vipassana meditation any more strongly, it truly feels like freedom from the past and the key to a whole new way of living consciously without being at the mercy of thoughts or mental patterns.

Learn more about the Mindfulness Project or their yearly 10 Day Silent Vipassana Retreat on their website, www.mindfulness-project.org